Preventing the effects of Bullying: Be Assertive

Preventing the effects of Bullying Learning how to be Assertive

If you are being bullied, how you respond to the bully is important as it could determine whether they continue to pick on you in the future. If you are passive and make no attempt to stand up for yourself, you communicate to the bully that they have an invitation to walk all over you anytime they want.  You don't want to give that message do you?  If you are aggressive and react verbally or physically then you could be accused of doing the same bullying behaviour and that would not be true of you would it?  So, what you need is another behavioural choice and social skill and that is to be Assertive.  

What does it mean to be Assertive?

Being assertive means being able to stand up for your own or other people's rights, in a calm and positive way, without being either aggressive or passively accepting 'wrong.' It is the social skill of being able to communicate and present yourself as self-assured and confident

If you are bullied you are going to feel angry and upset-who wouldn't? That's a normal emotional response to have. The tricky thing to learn though is to not let the bully see that is how you feel. If you react emotionally upset and/or angry they WIN. You want to come across as unaffected by their behaviour and totally unfazed, not ruffled or rumbled by it.

Watch the video to see the difference between passive, assertive and aggressive. 

Learning to be Assertive

When someone treats you disrespectfully like being called a name, or being pushed, or someone is cyberbullying you on digital devices, they are violating your right to be treated with RESPECT and their responsibility to treat others the way they would like to be treated. When this happens, you may experience lots of feelings, all of which would be a very normal emotional response to this situation.

๐Ÿ™„You may be surprised and shocked that someone is being mean and unkind to you. How could they? Why would they? How can someone behave like that?

๐Ÿ˜ฎYou may be scared and feel fearful, anxious, worried-what if they physically hurt me? What if they do not stop? I do not want a fight.

๐Ÿ˜กyou may feel anger, rage, frustrated, annoyed, irritated that this is happening. How dare they do this to me! What have I don't to deserve this! What's their problem! What they say is not true!

๐Ÿคขyou may feel disgusted by their poor behaviour โ€“this is the pits! I'm appalled at what is happening!

๐Ÿ˜Ÿyou may feel sad, disappointed, or let down. You might think 'Why me? What is wrong with me?'

Read the next blog post on being assertive to help you not let these feelings stop you from behaving in an assertive way.

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Thursday, 11 August 2022